I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
