Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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