With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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