Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
