just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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