I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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