North Korea, Best Korea!
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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