Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
