Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
be right there i have to get my cape
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
