i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
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