you would pick up someone in the library
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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