It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
