I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
