I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just made out with a guy for $7.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
