Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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