Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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