Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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