he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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