i always forget guys have bellybuttons
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
i now understand why vodka
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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