I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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