his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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