It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
