sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
there's paper in my vomit.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
