I cannot find my penis.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
