Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize