Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
