The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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