I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize