i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
