Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It's official drugs can't kill me
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
