i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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