Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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