i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
