He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
