i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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