I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
