like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
