I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
