Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
