Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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