my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
i think im in europe. pls send help
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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