Kiss
Puke
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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