she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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