No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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