Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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