yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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