we have pet lesbian snakes
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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