Do you still have your period?
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
