dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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