one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
