Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
