he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I am mentally ready for anal.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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