its not stalking. its research.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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