I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize