I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My first STD was from a foam party
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
