my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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