In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
