we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
