We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
