just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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