I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
